Tuesday, June 12, 2007

So...I stand corrected......

Wow! it has been a really long time since blogging. And long overdue at that.

So I'm going to have catch everyone up to speed.....

Things with the attorney ended horribly. Just when I thought he might be the one that could make me change my mind......I was wrong!
We went on two dates, and on the second date, Lawyer seemed to think that I was just a piece of meat he can paw and take full advantage of. I guess in the words of one of the funniest movies alive, "damn, I offered you a snack, not the whole kitchen FOOL!" That is pretty much how you can sum up this short-lived romance.

Nonetheless, I was adamant and determined in my quest for love........

Next came the Engineer. We never actually went on a date, but this guy was so ridiculously possessive from the beginning, I had to pull the emergency stop before anything started. After a few exchanged emails and phone conversations, Engineer decided to enlighten me with this antics. Apparently he doesn't appreciate the people he is interested in to be talking to others. I thought dating was all about talking to people and seeing which one you connected with....am I wrong? Anyways, long story short......he told me that if I wanted to see him, I needed to cut off all conversation with anyone else I could be talking to.
Excuse me?! You have got to be kidding me! We hadn't met, we can't even be considered dating....perhaps it was better that we never met.

However, not all is down-and-out...... I think I finally met him. The one that can turn my world upside down....although I won't jinx it. Full details once I know I'm in the clear!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Great people, bad dates, and the one that could make me change my mind

I guess it's time to get to the nitty-gritty and purpose of this whole blog page...so here you have it, folks! my "matches" in order that I met them!

Match #1: "Put me in coach, I'm ready to play!"
This first person I met was a 30-year-old athletic coach from the University of Kentucky. Cute guy, average build.....But he had a great sense of humor, could keep up with my sarcastic wit, and very nice. He hails from the Hawkeye State, actually just two hours north of my hometown, so it was nice to meet someone from the same state that had the same small town values as I did.
So after several phone chats and countless emails, I finally agreed to meet him in Cincinnati for some good old fun at Dave & Buster's. Great time, great company, great date.....We continued to chat through text message/phone/emails even through his recruitment event in South America. I can't imagine what his phone bill was going to be for the week of that trip, but the topic is moot.
However, Coach soon decided to show his real colors when he returned from his trip and, in a sense, was almost demanding of my time and was upset when I was unable to meet him for dinner and drinks that week. So, just like that....coach vanished--no phone calls. no texts. no emails. He just disappeared.

I think I may have seen his face on a milk carton the other day........oh well.

Match #2: "Designing web pages isn't like designing a myspace page"
Now....this guy can be summed up in one word: Adorable. This probably isn't an adjective that a guy would want to be described with...But, it so appropriately fits him. He is a 29-year-old web page designer that lives about 90 minutes from my place. So distance immediately was an issue for me.....I don't think it was for him. Besides this, we both live very busy lives and we are lucky to chat once a week on the phone.
Nonetheless, after chatting and emailing for what seemed like 3-4 weeks, our schedules finally matched up to where we could meet. It was an instant hit, convo was great. Dinner was fantastic. Drinks and the band were incredible afterwards. I have to admit, it was a damn good night out.

However, again....the constant schedule conflict and the mileage are a huge roadblock for me. I am forever engaged in a terrible and horrible game of phone tag with him.....

Tag, you're it...and I'm out.

Match #3: "The Proud. The Few. The Marines....?"
I typically do not go for men my age....but there was something about this guy that interested me. Just as driven, ambitious, funny, and sarcastic as myself. We hit it off instantly through chatting, and by the time we met, it had already seemed like we'd been on three dates.
This marine is hands down the best looking guy I've met to date. I would be lying if I said he didn't have alot of other things going for him as well......two internships, his military service record, and his academics. Oh, and he's a gentleman....chivalry isn't dead!
I think this guy is the one I actually had more than one date with.....three to be exact.

However, something interesting happened, he went M.I.A.!

We were supposed to have a dinner date, we had spoken the night before (briefly), and that was it.........

To this day, I have no clue what happened to him. Perhaps, the distance between him and myself was too much. Or it was my hectic work schedule. I guess Ill never know.

Match #4: "An Officer and the Gentlemen?"
I don't know what it is about the Dayton area that makes people bitter. I do not feel and think this place is that terrible. But I guess when you live in Florida all your life, one is bound to be bitter about life in Ohio in general.....Which of course, this guy was. It was blantly obvious when he started ranting about how Dayton was dull and boring.

Mind you, this was all within the first ten minutes upon us meeting.

So "Mr. Gator" is a 31-year-old mechanical engineer and an officer in the USAF. I met him for lunch on HIS lunch hour on a day more convienent for him than myself. Although, he did choose a great restaurant.....well that's about it. Conversation was horrible--I justified it by chalking it up to nerves, but who is that nervous that they just dont want to talk? The more questions I asked or the more I tried to make conversation, the more he shut up.

But it gets better. The only thing he did tell me was that he went to cincinnati to hang out because it was much more fun than dayton. And that there was a girl he dated off and on from there......so this must have been an off month for them.

The uniform doesnt immediately give you personality. Check please.

Match #5: "Jury's not back yet....the verdict is still out"
I couldn't be happier with this match--a 29 year old attorney that is a life long dayton area native. As to why he is still single?....I have no absolute clue!

He had me completely fooled on our first date--had me under the impression we were going to be digging into some great chinese restaurant, but was rather "low key." But rather, he took me to the most romantic and most incredible restaurant I have ever been to. Afterwards, it was wine on his balcony and one of the most intellectually stimulating conversations I have ever had with another human. No need for a bar. television. a movie. I was completely captivated by his every word. every story. and every part of the night and every part of him. It was by far, the best date ever......

I'm willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance to see where this goes....

But isnt that what life and dating is all about? Risking it all and taking a chance?

Monday, April 23, 2007

Men from my perception

What are men, to the mind of the woman's heart?

We women think we can see things so clearly, but what do we know?

We don't understand a single thing about them.

Doesn't it always seem to be, that the one who always tells you "You can have any man you want" is the only one you want, that you can't have.

Men have a tendency to lead women on. They deceive us. They tease us, tempt us, create feelings inside us, make us think it's all so true, all the while, leading us to believe something false. And then, upon accomplishing this goal, they turn around and run the other direction once they've succeeded in setting us up for failure.

They demand our love, our undivided attention. So we freely give it, because we are women--It's our nature. We were made to love. But when we do, they retreat, and often into the arms of another.

Why is it that men only want things until they get them? After that, they no longer want it?
Why ask for anything if you'll just turn it away when it comes?

How can it be, that with the dating world being so huge vast, so immense, so amazingly intimidating, with such a vast variety of potential, yet, they are all the same? So different, yet so alike? And always with the same outcome. How discouraging. Yet we still continue to try. Again and again.

Sort of like playing the lottery every day of your life, and never winning. We get discouraged, we KNOW we will never win. Yet we still play every day, just in case, for the hope that maybe someday it might happen.

Sort of like the kid with a hundred quarters trying to get the stuffed animal out of the claw machine. Try as he may, he can never get that claw to pick it up and drop it down the hole. Yet he uses up every quarter he's got trying.

Sort of like Baskin Robbins. Sure there are 31 flavors, but it's all still just ice cream.

Sort of like being stranded on a boat in the middle of the ocean and you're thirsty. Sure, there's water everywhere. But you can't drink any of it.
We women consistently have no success in love, yet we are always continually trying.
Every man is different, but they are all the same.

Some men start off nice and sweet. Harmless and gentle. Polite and well-mannered. But step outside, and soon their mask fades like mascara in the rain, and their perversion is left standing there staring at you, wide-eyed and grinning, teeth bared. What can we do but walk away?

Other men seem wonderful, perfect in every way. We've searched high and low, and are finally being rewarded for our efforts. Against all odds, we've finally found "The One." But the only thing standing between us and him is his reluctance. Slowly he turns, and walks away.

Some men come off crass and haughty, proud and dominant. Strong and persuasive. They manipulate our minds and steer us wrong. Weobliviously release to them all control, and oblige to their every desires. But soon his spell wears off , only then can we see clearly now at what we have done. Head down, regretful eyes filled with tears, you turn and walk away.

Other men are nice enough, decent, hard-working and selfless. They care for us and share with us, and are always there for us. But we just can't seem to find that spark, to make us feel the way he does. Sadly, painfully, and both of us hopeless, now he must turn and walk away.

Every man is different.

Every man is the same.

Try as we may, we will never understand them. Yet we still continue to try. And we still continue to fail.

Yet try we must, if we feel we must, if the pursuit of love is our objective. But is there a point to it all, if someone always walks away? How do we not just give up? Raise the white flag and surrender?

Maybe I should. But could I if I tried? Would I really want to?

No, probably not

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Fresh start in a new place

Moving to a new city alone was a shocking adventure in itself. Moving alone with a broken heart...well that proved to be disasterous. It was hard enough to have to adjust to my new world I entered, that throwing in a break up with a guy after 3.5 years made things even harder. Despite the fact that my unwillingness and not being ready for him to move in and take the relationship further, it was "bartender's" ultimatium that ended the relationship.

It's been a while since the break up and although some people will say that it is relatively too soon to date, I tend to guide the right time based on what my exes have been doing. So taking into consideration that he took home the last thing still breathing at 2am when the bar closed the next day, I knew he wasn't worth my tears, sadness and depression I had let myself slip into. I didn't feel as if the relationship meant that much to him anyway, and I didn't mean anything to him.....therefore, I made a promise to myself to forget one thing about him everyday for a month. To slowly put away all the memories I have, lock away all the feelings, and finally finish the last chapter of a very saddening book.

After about a month, I no longer cried over a song on the radio that reminded me of him. I no longer found myself thinking about him at rare moments during the day. And I discovered that I could go an entire day without some type or form of communication with him. It was when I came to this revelation that I knew I would be okay and that I was comfortable enough to slowly enter the world of dating...for the first time in 4 years.

Actually, I welcomed it with optimisim and excitement. Don't get me wrong, I was also terrified because I've watched close friends get treated so cruelly in this world. It's like it is a completely differeny world out there!

Not wanting to search for potential suitors at the local watering holes and not wanting to be constantly fixed up with a friend's "guy they know," I carefully considered the whole on-line dating thing. A few close friends from college recommended a particular site, as well as some people back home. It seems as though everyone knows someone that knows someone who has had success with internet dating.

Interestingly enough, on March 5, 2007--I became active in the on-line dating world. And my personal life hasn't been the same since.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007


Welcome to my world!
I guess I should give readers a little background information about myself:

I'm 24, from a relatively small town in Iowa and moved to Dayton, Ohio in mid-January 2007.....right after my first semester of graudate school. It was a career opportunity too good to pass up that led me to where I am now.

I don't make people a priority when they only make me an option. I'm completely enjoying every aspect, minute, and detail of my life. I work, I eat sometimes, I drink 1-5 glasses of wine (depending on the day I had), I sleep a couple hours when I can and then I get up and do it again. More often than not, I'm overcaffinated and running to or from a meeting, dealing with production issues, and/or customer demands. When I'm not working...well, I'm either at bally's working out, shopping, discovering my inner "Martha Stewart", perfecting my culinary skills, discovering everything that this place has to offer me, mastering my bartending skills, and having a good time with great friends.

Welcome Mat!

First of all, welcome to my virtual diary! I have been blogging a lot on myspace and thought it was time to move onto something a little more geared for the thoughts that run through my mind.

I decided to open this page as a way to share my feelings about what is it like to be a single, young professional in Dayton, Ohio. I hope that I can both entertain my readers and obtain some feeback on my dating woes and successes, as well as the day-to-day life of a girl in the city.

I hope everyone will enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it!

Welcome! :o)